Let’s remind ourselves of a well-known truism.
Our physical body will take the hit for psycho-social-spiritual disturbances felt and experienced in our energetic field~lauramayer
So what does that mean? Our physical bodies hold the truth of who we are. Our body never lies. When we are insulted, violated, dismissed, invisible those feelings become part of our cellular make-up and memory.
In the past months, I’ve gone through a tsunami of human emotion. I’ve reacted, responded, cried my heart out, felt deep despair and pain over the decline of my parent's health and welfare. I’ve witnessed my own physicality respond to the emotional injustices I was harboring in my heart and soul. As I joined in the collective family whirlwind, the energy translated into the physical dysfunction of my hands, the source of a life long dis-ease transmuted years ago.
It has been many years since my hands and arms experienced such pain and weakness. For example, I had difficulty managing fine motor activities like opening jars, lifting a fork, holding a knife etc, etc, etc. The realization was emotionally tormenting because this part of my story had been complete, or so I believed.
The cellular memory was showing up as a reminder to clear away any remaining energies stored deep within, only to be transmuted through clarity and surrender.
The discordant energy that emerged in the family constellation triggered by my parent’s rapid decline of health also triggered a physical and emotional reaction in me. The posturing of all the players involved, the demands, the disputes and the reemergence of past dramas, all played itself out on the center stage as it had throughout my life.
Precipitated by the crises, the “family dynamic” simply reemerged-the same one that had been present since the family became a dynamic. The push-pull, who’s in charge, who’s wrong, who’s right, the competitive nature and taking sides, all reappeared in full force. This is a very familiar dynamic, no pun intended when there is a massive shift or quick change in family patterns. In the field of psychiatry/psychology the first question asked is always, “What is the precipitating event?”
The clarity came on my early morning walk when I had a vision of a Broadway theater where each member of the family was on stage being who they are. As I continued to walk, I said to myself, “I do not want to be on that stage ever again knowing exactly what it looked like to “take on” the collective energy. Hurt once before, there’s no need to experience it again. That’s what clarity and surrender look like! Lightheartedly I joked about this being the only time I would prefer to be in the balcony section instead of the orchestra.
When we make a conscious decision to back off from toxic family dramas and instead make the choice to spend our time and energy seeking solution we become proactive rather than reactive. The choice for me was to show up consciously and lovingly, in right alignment with self, with great clarity to keep the boundaries clear.
In saying all that, I also trusted this was a golden opportunity to assess and reconcile any left over feeling I might be holding onto and, with clarity and grace, completely let them go.
I set this into motion by remaining in integrity, rising above the fray (most of the time) and processing through what was whirling in me and around me.
I kicked into action and became the solution.
Here are some useful tools:
1. Soften into clarity and surrender.
2. Make daily Audacious Attitude Adjustments.
3. Become a witness (without judgment) to ALL feelings and thoughts that surfaced.
4. Remain present, mindful and aware.
5. Lighten up and find humor in the story. Remember that’s all it is “A Story.”
6. Remain in the “Grace-Space!” Show up with humility, love and consciousness.
7. Trust you, the divine self and personality self that this is yours to do and do it well!
8. Make a proclamation! This is mine. “I will never digest this family dynamic again.” What’s yours?
Remember the difference between delegating, relegating, negotiating and demanding.
Let’s learn to make choices that make sense in our minds and our bodies. Think about it this way. Those of us engaged in higher consciousness, mindfulness, enlightenment, know the Buddhist term, “Monkey mind.” Have you ever wondered why no one speaks of Monkey body? I will go out on a limb and say Monkey body is when dis-ease, accidents, traumas manifest in physical form. Our body, mind and soul simply says, enough is enough!
Our bodies take the hit for our mental mind decisions.
The mind is on rapidfire not our body.
Our bodies require time to integrate all the pieces of the bigger picture-energetically, emotionally, physically and spiritually. Because our humanly bodies have a limit to what they can absorb when in rapid fire we unconsciously stress ourselves to a point of dis-ease and disharmony. When balance is disrupted, we expose ourselves to a greater potential of heart attacks, cancer, stroke, emotional/psychological breakdown, sepsis, autoimmune deficiencies etc.
Our body will try and get our attention so we may adjust the course before we go into overdrive. That’s when our bodies shut down, sometimes quickly, sometimes over an extended period of time. That’s when it’s imperative we become a kick-ass attitude adjuster and open the space for higher consciousness and nurture ourselves, soul deep.
Make conscious decisions that bring solution.